I went to my first prenatal checkup on May 26th. I had mentioned to my friend a few days earlier that I was worried because I wasn't sick like I was with both of my kids. She, like most people, said "maybe this is just going to be an easier pregnancy!" But I mentioned how with my previous miscarriage it was the same way. I wasn't sick, just a little nauseous here and there and only threw up once. It made sense to worry. But I tried to be optimistic.
I got to the appointment and the doctor started the ultrasound. We saw the baby immediately and I felt relieved...until he checked for a heart beat. I quickly glanced and didn't see movement (from the baby or a beating heart) and the doctor couldn't hear anything. I should have been just over 8 weeks but the baby was only measuring 6 weeks 6 days. After what seemed like forever, the doctor said what I was expecting. The baby had died. He checked and my cervix was a little open. He gave me the option of waiting it out, taking cytotec, or having a d&c. I had a d&c with my last miscarriage because I was further along and I had heard horror stories of cytotec. What I didn't know at the time, was that it would cost us $5,000! As wonderful of an experience my d&c was, we just could not afford to pay out of pocket again so we decided to wait 2 weeks and I had an appointment set up in case nothing happened within that time.
Nothing happened. A few drops of blood. But that's it. Another ultrasound confirmed that nothing had changed. I decided to go ahead and give cytotec a try. My doctor prescribed me 3 days worth just in case. I was to take four 200 mg pills vaginally. It was a Thursday, so I took some that night around 8:45 pm. I figured it would be best to have it going on while my husband was home and while the kids were sleeping. After I took the cytotec I made sure to apply Young Living's Dragon Time essential oil blend on my inner ankles and over my ovaries to help with any cramping. I had pain medication as well but hoped not to use it -- despite everyone insisting I would be in so much pain I would need it and should take some just in case. I also had Young Living's Deep Relief handy for any back pain I might experience. I woke up around 2:30 to some bleeding and slight cramping. Went to the bathroom, passed some big clots. Went back to sleep and woke up again around 3:30, again with some bleeding and cramping. Same story at 4:30. I applied Dragon Time after each bathroom trip and Deep Relief once. Just felt like period cramps, nothing I couldn't handle. I checked the toilet each time and never saw anything other than blood. I was able to sleep until around 9 am (thank you kids!) after the last bathroom run.
Friday night I took another dose of cytotec. I was quite frustrated when I woke up in the morning. Sleeping through the night meant no cramping and no heavy bleeding, which meant I hadn't passed anything. I just wanted to be done! I had already waited 2 weeks, paranoid if I would start to miscarry while I was out and about. I was on such a big dose that it should have happened...I was convinced I was one of the unlucky ones who cytotec didn't work for and I was going to have to have another d&c.
Saturday night I took the last dose. Earlier I had talked to a friend of mine in the medical field. I had also done some research. Both of which pointed out that I should have laid down for an hour after taking the cytotec (no one told me that!!!) and I probably wasn't getting them in high enough. I did lose a pill Friday night when I went to the bathroom...oops. So this time I made sure to get the pills in as far as I could and to lay down right after. I made sure to take it after the kids were in bed so I could go lay down. Again, I slept through the night with no heavy bleeding and no cramping! When I got out of bed I felt a little gush so I hurried to the bathroom. As usual I inspected the toilet and when I think about it now I sing to myself "one of these things is not like the others!" I got my rubber glove on and fished the different looking blob out of the toilet. As soon as I got a close look at it I thought to myself "holy crap! That's my baby!" I could clearly see the head and the beginnings of a tiny little adorable face. I put it in a little plastic container I had kept ready in the bathroom -- my doctor said I could bring it in for genetic testing if I wanted to. He said it helps a lot of women with peace of mind. For me, I'm just straight up curious. I don't blame myself for my miscarriages. I know something was wrong with them genetically that prevented them from continuing to grow and develop and that would have prevented them from having a good life had the pregnancy progressed. I hid the container in the fridge so no one would accidentally grab it -- my husband was pretty grossed out when I told him I could keep it and take it for testing.
So, I knew the baby had passed. But it seemed too good to be true. Everyone told me I would be in so much pain but I wasn't. I didn't even bleed as much as I expected -- I've had worse periods believe it or not! I talked to some friends and they all seemed to agree that there had to still be some tissue left that didn't pass. I had also been having stronger cramps and more back pain last night and this morning so it seemed like maybe my body was still trying to get rid of something. So this morning, Monday, June 13, 2016. I called my doctor and got an appointment. I went in, they took the container and confirmed that it was, in fact, my teeny tiny baby. He did an ultrasound and said everything looked great and that I was done. Nothing left to pass. I was shocked but so relieved! It's really over! I can move on!
And boy oh boy is this an amazing testimonial for the essential oils that I know and LOVE! Sure, maybe I just got lucky. But I know from personal experience that Dragon Time makes my period cramps nonexistent, so it doesn't seem that far fetched to think that Dragon Time (and Deep Relief) made my miscarriage bearable. Want to learn more about Young Living Essential Oils? Check out my website:
www.hello-essentials.com/swhiteford
Or email me at swhiteford05@gmail.com
I hope this blog helps anyone going through a miscarriage and struggling with their decisions. Or someone who isn't sure what to expect -- since I had a d&c with my first I felt so clueless! And don't worry about me, I'm doing really well :) I struggled for a bit yesterday, feeling weird that my baby was in the fridge. And I felt bad for squishing it because I didn't know what it was at first. And I was also a tiny bit grossed out. I really just didn't know how to react. But I'm doing fine now. Knowing that it's over has helped tremendously. I'm not sad. I know my babies are watching over me and that I will see them again. I'm happy that they will not have to experience any pain or sorrow and that they get to be in the presence of our Heavenly Father.
~Stephanie Whiteford~
