Miscarrying the Natural Way

I went to my first prenatal checkup on May 26th. I had mentioned to my friend a few days earlier that I was worried because I wasn't sick like I was with both of my kids. She, like most people, said "maybe this is just going to be an easier pregnancy!" But I mentioned how with my previous miscarriage it was the same way. I wasn't sick, just a little nauseous here and there and only threw up once. It made sense to worry. But I tried to be optimistic. 

I got to the appointment and the doctor started the ultrasound. We saw the baby immediately and I felt relieved...until he checked for a heart beat. I quickly glanced and didn't see movement (from the baby or a beating heart) and the doctor couldn't hear anything. I should have been just over 8 weeks but the baby was only measuring 6 weeks 6 days. After what seemed like forever, the doctor said what I was expecting. The baby had died. He checked and my cervix was a little open. He gave me the option of waiting it out, taking cytotec, or having a d&c. I had a d&c with my last miscarriage because I was further along and I had heard horror stories of cytotec. What I didn't know at the time, was that it would cost us $5,000! As wonderful of an experience my d&c was, we just could not afford to pay out of pocket again so we decided to wait 2 weeks and I had an appointment set up in case nothing happened within that time.

Nothing happened. A few drops of blood. But that's it. Another ultrasound confirmed that nothing had changed. I decided to go ahead and give cytotec a try. My doctor prescribed me 3 days worth just in case. I was to take four 200 mg pills vaginally. It was a Thursday, so I took some that night around 8:45 pm. I figured it would be best to have it going on while my husband was home and while the kids were sleeping. After I took the cytotec I made sure to apply Young Living's Dragon Time essential oil blend on my inner ankles and over my ovaries to help with any cramping. I had pain medication as well but hoped not to use it -- despite everyone insisting I would be in so much pain I would need it and should take some just in case. I also had Young Living's Deep Relief handy for any back pain I might experience. I woke up around 2:30 to some bleeding and slight cramping. Went to the bathroom, passed some big clots. Went back to sleep and woke up again around 3:30, again with some bleeding and cramping. Same story at 4:30. I applied Dragon Time after each bathroom trip and Deep Relief once. Just felt like period cramps, nothing I couldn't handle. I checked the toilet each time and never saw anything other than blood. I was able to sleep until around 9 am (thank you kids!) after the last bathroom run.

Friday night I took another dose of cytotec. I was quite frustrated when I woke up in the morning. Sleeping through the night meant no cramping and no heavy bleeding, which meant I hadn't passed anything. I just wanted to be done! I had already waited 2 weeks, paranoid if I would start to miscarry while I was out and about. I was on such a big dose that it should have happened...I was convinced I was one of the unlucky ones who cytotec didn't work for and I was going to have to have another d&c.

Saturday night I took the last dose. Earlier I had talked to a friend of mine in the medical field. I had also done some research. Both of which pointed out that I should have laid down for an hour after taking the cytotec (no one told me that!!!) and I probably wasn't getting them in high enough. I did lose a pill Friday night when I went to the bathroom...oops. So this time I made sure to get the pills in as far as I could and to lay down right after. I made sure to take it after the kids were in bed so I could go lay down. Again, I slept through the night with no heavy bleeding and no cramping! When I got out of bed I felt a little gush so I hurried to the bathroom. As usual I inspected the toilet and when I think about it now I sing to myself "one of these things is not like the others!" I got my rubber glove on and fished the different looking blob out of the toilet. As soon as I got a close look at it I thought to myself "holy crap! That's my baby!" I could clearly see the head and the beginnings of a tiny little adorable face. I put it in a little plastic container I had kept ready in the bathroom -- my doctor said I could bring it in for genetic testing if I wanted to. He said it helps a lot of women with peace of mind. For me, I'm just straight up curious. I don't blame myself for my miscarriages. I know something was wrong with them genetically that prevented them from continuing to  grow and develop and that would have prevented them from having a good life had the pregnancy progressed. I hid the container in the fridge so no one would accidentally grab it -- my husband was pretty grossed out when I told him I could keep it and take it for testing.

So, I knew the baby had passed. But it seemed too good to be true. Everyone told me I would be in so much pain but I wasn't. I didn't even bleed as much as I expected -- I've had worse periods believe it or not! I talked to some friends and they all seemed to agree that there had to still be some tissue left that didn't pass. I had also been having stronger cramps and more back pain last night and this morning so it seemed like maybe my body was still trying to get rid of something.  So this morning, Monday, June 13, 2016. I called my doctor and got an appointment. I went in, they took the container and confirmed that it was, in fact, my teeny tiny baby. He did an ultrasound and said everything looked great and that I was done. Nothing left to pass. I was shocked but so relieved! It's really over! I can move on!

And boy oh boy is this an amazing testimonial for the essential oils that I know and LOVE! Sure, maybe I just got lucky. But I know from personal experience that Dragon Time makes my period cramps nonexistent, so it doesn't seem that far fetched to think that Dragon Time (and Deep Relief) made my miscarriage bearable. Want to learn more about Young Living Essential Oils? Check out my website:

www.hello-essentials.com/swhiteford

Or email me at swhiteford05@gmail.com

I hope this blog helps anyone going through a miscarriage and struggling with their decisions. Or someone who isn't sure what to expect -- since I had a d&c with my first I felt so clueless! And don't worry about me, I'm doing really well :) I struggled for a bit yesterday, feeling weird that my baby was in the fridge. And I felt bad for squishing it because I didn't know what it was at first. And I was also a tiny bit grossed out. I really just didn't know how to react. But I'm doing fine now. Knowing that it's over has helped tremendously. I'm not sad. I know my babies are watching over me and that I will see them again. I'm happy that they will not have to experience any pain or sorrow and that they get to be in the presence of our Heavenly Father.

~Stephanie Whiteford~

Stupid

I saw this article on facebook and decided to read it since it seemed to cause quite a stir. Read it here. Elizabeth Smart said that she didn't escape her kidnappers because of what she was taught in the church about sex. I understand that rape is a traumatic experience and it is normal to feel worthless but that's not the church's fault! Then to go and say that certain verses in the Book of Mormon need to be removed?? Are you serious? Some people are so stupid. It's not the church's fault. What's so wrong about teaching young women about chastity and virtue? Nothing that happened to her is considered a sin in the church. It wasn't her fault. So it pisses me off that she would speak out against the teachings of the church and blame it on them. Any opinions are welcome. Just had to vent about it.

Psalms 56:4

 "In God I will praise his word, in God I have put my ^atrust; I will not ^bfear what flesh can do unto me."

I was thinking the other night about all the madness in the world. The bombings, the shootings, etc. I keep seeing people say how scared they are now because of how far gone this world is. But when I think about it, we were told in the scriptures to fear God, not man. What are we doing? We're fearing man rather than trusting in God. In the Bible Dictionary under fear it says, "Sin destroys that feeling of confidence God’s child should feel in a loving Father and produces instead a feeling of shame and guilt. Ever since the Fall God has been teaching men not to fear, but with penitence to ask forgiveness in full confidence of receiving it." While the focus of that is on sinning, I think it applies to more than that. I think in general fearing anything causes us to lose confidence in our Heavenly Father's plan. Sure, all the stuff that's been going on is scary and I understand how none of us want that to happen to us and we feel bad for those affected by it. However, I don't think we need to dwell on it and be afraid of living life. Whatever happens happens. As long as we trust in God and are living righteously we'll be okay. So in my mind that means there is no reason to fear. We just need to have faith. Unfortunately, things are only going to get worse. Worrying about what's happened won't help us progress, fear will only hold us back.

I didn't explain that as well as I wanted to but it was hard to translate my thoughts. Oh well, I hope it made sense. If not, it makes sense to me!

Chicken Casserole

I loooove this stuff so I'm going to share it!

• cubed chicken
• 1 can cream of chicken
• 1 cup cheese (I use cheddar or mozzarella)
• 1/2 cup mayo
• 1 Tbs lemon juice
• 2 tubes refrigerated biscuits
• melted butter
• seasoned bread crumbs/stuffing mix

Mix the first 5 ingredients until cheese is melted. Then pour into casserole dish. Then dip each biscuit in butter then bread crumbs and place on top. Bake at 350 for 25-30 minutes.

I've been thinking...

I've been thinking about blogging...I just haven't done it until today :) I haven't really had a lot of time and I haven't had much I felt like talking about. My blog is like me in person: if I don't have anything to say, I keep quiet. Last week we took a last minute trip to Battle Mountain, NV. Rick had to drop something off for work so it was just there and back but I figured Jade and I could use some fresh scenery. Plus it was nice practice for our long roadtrip to IA and MI in August! The good thing is, Jade will be a little older by then...or is that a good thing? Haha. She mostly slept which is probably why she didn't sleep too well once we got home. Oh well, such is life. Speaking of sleeping, she's been doing well. She slept through the night once last week -- the first time! Other than that miraculous night she's back to her normal sleeping habits of waking up once after about 7-8 hours. I can handle that :) The other night I heard her fussing so I figured she was hungry. I went into her room to discover that she was still sleeping but she was trying to roll over in her sleep which is why she was fussing. Silly girl, if you don't want to roll over, don't do it! She woke up around 4:45 this morning so I went to her room and found that she had turned sideways, rolled over, and had a leg sticking out of the crib. I fed her and put her back to sleep. When she woke up for good at around 8:30 she had rotated sideways again. What a silly girl!

Here's something else I've been thinking about: family history. I started doing some work on www.familysearch.org and I've come across a troubling situation. I think about it every day...I have a relative I'm stuck on! His name is Albert Seeley and he is my Great Great Grandfather. We know who he was married to and we know who his children are. We also know when and where he was born. As for his parents...all I know is his dad is from Scotland and his mother is from England. You would think I could find a birth record of Albert that would have them listed but no...there is nothing. There isn't even a census that has them together! The only census Albert is on is with his wife and that's how I know where his parents are from. Where do you go from there?? Why is there no record?? Has it just not been indexed yet? I guess I better start indexing again if that's the case (good thing I LOVE it!). All I can really do is pray and be patient and hope that someone with more knowledge of stuff like this can help me out!

4 Months!

Jade is 4 months already! Time definitely flies! She is just shy of 13 lbs and is 25 inches long (in the 78th percentile)! She gained about 3 lbs since last month which means she jumped from the 13th percentile to the 34th in weight :) YAY! She's growing! I wasn't too thrilled about having to switch to formula (mainly because it isn't free haha) but it's been so wonderful ever since I've switched. She's so much happier and she's gaining weight. I don't know how I put up with such a fussy baby for so long and it honestly makes me feel bad for basically starving her :( But all is well now and that's all that matters! She was sleeping really well but lately it's been rough...I'm going to blame it on teething because I honestly don't know what else it could be. I just stopped swaddling her since she can roll over now but she started sleep regression before that so the tooth it is! Her pediatrician said she's ahead of the game since she's already got a tooth breaking through but I've heard lots of moms who had early teethers so I wasn't too surprised when I noticed a tooth (I was surprised how close it was to breaking through when I noticed it though haha). She's lost a lot of hair too which could either be from cradle cap or her head growing...or both...but it looks like it's starting to grow back so that's good. She's cute either way though :)

I think that's about it for the updates...I'll eventually post the pictures on my camera from the Jazz game...maybe I'll go do that now...

I haven't quit yet!

I know it's been a few days but I haven't given up on blogging yet! I've just been busy and haven't had much to say anyway. Rick's family all got together for Easter weekend and that kept us busy. Jade is getting more active each day and I love it! I love that she can entertain herself for good chunks of time and now that she's getting enough to eat she's napping a lot :) She's finally getting the hang of rolling over but she usually screams the whole time, silly girl. Every now and then she sits up on her own too! I'm excited for her 4 month appointment on Monday so I can see how much she really has grown! This weekend is General Conference which is always exciting. It will be interesting with a baby -- she's so distracting haha. Oh, and the Jazz game with Briana was really fun!! She lost though :( It was completely chance how they picked the winner. They each picked a number and then one by one they would eliminate a number. She got a year's supply of coke products though! I told her she's in charge of drinks for every party haha.

Also, if anyone can find cute baby shorts for sale let me know! Jade gets so hot but I don't always want her just in a onesie -- I don't mind just onesies but little outfits are so much cuter! I looked at walmart the last time I was there and they only have shorts in toddler sizes :( I'm also looking for a bumbo for a decent price...it doesn't matter what color, they sell cute covers now!

That's all for today, I'll try to write more tomorrow.