Live and Learn

Lately I've done a lot of thinking about a lot of different things. Thinking is a typical thing for me. I generally over think everything and my brain is always going crazy. But lately I guess its been more pondering. I'm trying to figure out exactly what I want in life, and where I want to be. There are some things I know I want that I've always wanted and there are some things that are still unclear. I feel like this point in my life is full of change and decision making. I've also been thinking about experiences in my past and what I've learned and how I've grown since then. ...I feel like I'm just rambling and nothing is making sense. I'm not sure what I'm trying to say. Maybe just that I feel really good about some areas of my life but others I'm still lost and confused.

A friend was talking to me today about my ex and even though I've realized he couldn't have cared as much about me as it seemed (since he moved onto another girl right away) and that he's actually a huge jerk and other things I wont say...I realized that I still care about him, and I'm still hurting. Its been 4 months and I'm doing so much better but it still hurts at times. But I learned a lot about myself, and that's what matters. The past is the past. I need to keep looking forward and stop looking back. Yes, I've been hurt a TON but I can't let that stop me from progressing. But, I need to make sure that I'm ready before I jump into anything. My problem is I have a big heart and when I like someone I go for it. I guess that isn't a problem, but the issue is I move to fast. I've realized I need to take more time. So that's what I'm working on from now on -- no matter how crazy I am about someone.

Anyway...that's a lot of rambling but I needed to put it somewhere. I've gotta do some studying for work so I can nail my presentations today!